I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START OR HOW TO START. I WILL STILL TRY!
I SAW JESUS! I KNOW HE IS THE ONE, BEYOND ANY DOUBT, I KNOW ITS HIM, IT CANT BE ANYONE ELSE.
Background
I am in my late 30s, brought up in a Catholic home where the name of Jesus was not new to me. I came to know the Lord when I was 21. There have been times when I’ve been passionate about my faith and other times when I’ve been lukewarm. Even at my worst, God was with me. I’ve had a few supernatural experiences myself. Many theologians have counseled me, providing strong explanations for God’s existence. Despite this, I often heard a voice asking, “What if all that I know is not real?” This doubt would drag me back to square one. Although I defend God, inside, there was always the fear, “What if I am imagining all this?”
Stage
I had the worst day of my life on May 21, 2024. I was shattered, heartbroken, and contemplating suicide. I’m afraid of suicide because it is considered an unforgivable sin, and I didn’t want to go to Hell. You see, I am 99.99% sure that I believe in God, Heaven, and Hell. I was asking God to let me die in an accident because I didn’t want to continue living. I felt like a total failure. With a heavy heart, I went to sleep, exhausted both physically and emotionally.
Dream
In my dream, I was in Hell. It wasn’t a fiery place with scenes of torture as I had imagined. Instead, it was like a dark cave, poorly lit. The room was filled with 30 or 40 people, all destined to spend eternity there. I saw Jesus there. He was the most humane person I have ever seen. Until then, I had heard that Jesus would come as a light or a warrior with a sword. But here, He was gentle and not intimidating. He was slender with a dark complexion and a sharp, straight nose. His eyes were the definition of grace. Even though He was not intimidating, I couldn’t look into His eyes for more than a fraction of a second. I looked here and there but never managed to maintain eye contact with Him. I approached Him and asked, “Father, why are You here?” Although He is the Son of God, I have always called Jesus “Father.”
He replied, “To rescue us all!” His face showed genuine concern, very serious, very sad, with a desperation to save. I said, “You did it already 2,000 years ago,” referring to His crucifixion and resurrection. He said, “It’s happening now, happened before, and will continue to happen.” He mentioned the present first, then the past, and future. We are used to past, present, and future, so I didn’t understand why He said it in that order.
That’s all. Preachers have painted a very scary picture of Judgment Day and Hell. In fact, I am scared to read the book of Revelation.
Aftermath
There is a 99.99% chance that it was just a dream, but what it did to me was supernatural. More than anything, I have seen my Savior. The image I had of Him is completely gone except for the few details I mentioned. I am contemplating what happened. My 99.99% belief became 100%. I am completely convinced He is real. I had a core unaddressed issue: I needed an image of God to feel connected. I was told it was a sin to seek an image of God because He is too majestic. The portrait of Jesus I had seen in the Catholic church was the image of God I had earlier aligned with—a fair person with long hair and a beard, showing His hand and bleeding heart. But the Jesus I saw in my dream was nothing like that. I was excited to share it with my sister Jebi and her husband JS. When I shared, they were more excited than me. They encouraged me to pursue this. I believe with certainty that God brought them into my life when I needed them the most.
What It Did to Me
I can see Him when I pray with my eyes closed. I might forget everything about His appearance, but the grace in His eyes encourages me to pray and hold on to Him. I was confused about what would happen when I die—whether I would remain dead until Jesus’ second coming or be immediately taken to judgment and sent to Heaven or Hell. I believe I got answers for that. We see time from our perspective, but God’s timeline is beyond our understanding. JS explained Chronos and Kairos, which gave me a perspective I had in mind for a long time. It also made sense why Jesus described the present first. Listening to the song “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know” fills me with joy. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but God has filled me with joy that the enemy can never steal.
Revisiting the Dream(23/05/24)
I couldn’t get enough of the experience. I wanted to experience more of it. And I was hoping to see Jesus again yesterday 22/05/24. But he didn’t. There was a sense of emptiness that no one could fill. Infact I had dream so bad that I am ashamed to share. And it was a nightmare, Jesus woke me up before I committed a sin in my dream. I wanted to forget the yesterday. I couldn’t believe that I could have the Sweetest Dream one day and Have a Shameful Dream the next day. I still woke up with a comfort that God stopped me before I committed anything wrong. But this puts me back in square one. I was in my lowest. I played my favourite song. Jesus Loves me this I know. I started singing it to my hearts content. God encouraged me, I failed again so what? Count all your blessings. I was happy. Instead of focusing on bad, let my focus be on the Holy.
Reorientation of my Focus on Jesus
I revisited my dream. I tried to understand more what it could mean. I felt like a curious kid. Why were we in hell, why me? Obviously I knew the reason. If we were already sent to hell, why Jesus came to rescue us? Does it mean there is still a way for us? And why He stressed so much on present. What it could mean. Does he mean, the present is more critical? I don’t have an answer yet.
Another thing I missed out to mention earlier. When I already know it was Jesus. I asked Him if he is… Before I completed, He said ‘I am’. Though I am convinced that my belief is true. I had a doubt. The Jesus in Bible always answers with a question. That wasn’t the case with me. He answered with simple answers. Why? Could it all be my imagination. I had this doubt and when I was writing this. The Holy Spirit reminded me this John 16:25-27 “I have spoken of these matters in figures of speech, but soon I will stop speaking figuratively and will tell you plainly all about the Father. Then you will ask in my name. I’m not saying I will ask the Father on your behalf, for the Father himself loves you dearly because you love me and believe that I came from God.
JESUS IS THE KNOWN WAY TO GOD!