“Father God, please guide me as I write this article based on Your Word. Help me to write this to glorify You, and let Your words bring clarity to those who seek You. May Your truth help people discern and embrace correct beliefs. I pray and seek everything in the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.”
Hi there my Brothers and Sisters in Christ! My heart aches as I write these words, but I feel compelled to share my story. For years, I thought I was being a good Christian husband, pouring everything I had into my marriage. Little did I realize that in my quest for marital perfection, I had created an idol that was slowly pushing God out of His rightful place in my life.
The Bible warns us in Exodus 20:3, “You shall have no other gods before me.” Yet, how easily we can turn even good things into idols! My marriage, a beautiful gift from God, had become my ultimate source of identity, purpose, and fulfilment. I had forgotten the words of Jesus in Matthew 22:37-38, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.”
Don’t misunderstand me – loving your spouse is not a sin. In fact, it’s commanded (Ephesians 5:25). But when that love surpasses our love for God, we’ve crossed a dangerous line. I found myself obsessed with being the perfect husband, taking pride in my abilities to fulfil my duties. I built my sense of identity, belonging, and purpose around my role as a spouse rather than as a child of God. Proverbs 16:18 warns, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” And fall I did. Despite my best efforts, I failed miserably. My marriage began to crumble, and I was left feeling utterly hopeless and helpless.
For six long months, I prayed fervently for God to fix my breaking marriage. But in His infinite wisdom, God was more interested in fixing me. He wanted to address the root of the problem – my misplaced worship and reliance on my own strength instead of His. As I wrestled with God, I was reminded of Jeremiah 17:5,7: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord… But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” I realized that I had been trying to do everything in my own strength, forgetting that apart from Christ, I can do nothing (John 15:5). My sense of failure was overwhelming, but it drove me to my knees in repentance.
Today, I stand before you, humbled and broken, yet filled with hope. I’m learning to surrender my marriage, my identity, and my purpose to God. I’m repenting for replacing Him with something He ordained but never intended to take His place. If you find yourself in a similar situation, take heart. Our God is the God of the impossible (Luke 1:37). He can restore what seems irreparably broken – not just our marriages, but our hearts and our relationship with Him. Let us remember the words of Psalm 73:25-26: “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
As I continue on this journey of restoration, I cling to these truths. I invite you to join me in examining your heart. Have you, like me, allowed your marriage or any other good thing to become an idol? Let’s turn back to our first love, allowing God to take His rightful place on the throne of our hearts. In our helplessness, we find His strength. In our brokenness, we find His healing. And in surrendering our idols, we find true fulfilment in Him alone.